As my blog has evolved over the past 10 years, for the most part, I’ve stopped sharing the personal stuff and tend to keep it to food. So I’m really not too sure how much to share here, but I also want to acknowledge that things aren’t normal right now. Not only because of the news and all of the heartache in the U.S. and around the world. But also because my Mom died in May.
I’m getting through, but I’m also heartbroken, and a little bit paralyzed at the moment, because my Mom was subscribed to my email list and I know this blog post is going to generate an email and that email is going to land in her inbox and she’s never, ever going to see it.
My Mom did not die of COVID-19, but she spent a couple of weeks in an extremely locked-down hospital with dozens of COVID patients. For most of the time she was there, we were not able to be there with her and hold her hand and help advocate for her. It was really, excruciatingly hard. But my family did get to see my Mom at the end, and we also got to be with her when she passed.
My heart is shattered for all of the families who have not been able to say the same.
My gut reaction when the news about Amy Cooper and George Floyd broke last week was that I just couldn’t take on more emotionally. I knew in my heart that I needed to step it up, but my brain was screaming, “Not now!” I knew that my natural aversion to confrontation, and my using that as a reason to often stay silent – even when I have strong beliefs about racism – was not acceptable. That anytime I chose silence, that made me complicit. And that even though I am feeling empty, the fact that I can choose now as a bad time to join in the fight is, in fact, a perfect, shining example of my white privilege. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but I understand a little better now.
Listen, I know I might lose you over getting “political” on a food blog, and I get it. I don’t like this stuff being thrown in my face when I don’t expect it either. It’s hard.
But it’s also a privilege for those of us who get to choose, isn’t it?
Right now it’s more important to me, personally, to work on speaking out. I know I need to do more than just this, but it’s a start. (I also believe this is more than a political issue. It’s life and death and things need to change, period.)
Going forward, in keeping with my tendency to separate business from private, I’ll probably keep the speaking out to my personal life and I’ll get back to just posting recipes here on Kitchen Treaty. But then again, maybe not – all bets are off right now, and as I do the work, maybe it will make sense for me to continue to speak out here. I don’t know.
But as far as today goes, it just didn’t feel right to share about my Mom without acknowleging everything else. And even though you won’t be reading this, Mom, I hope you’re proud of me for speaking up.
Thank you. We must all use our voices, wherever they are.
I love this! Your mom would definitely be proud! 💗
Thanks so much, Kristin. ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to not be with your mom. And thank you for your words on systemic racism and our responsibility to speak up.
Thank you Danielle. ❤️ I know I have a lot of work to do.
Thank you for speaking up at such a hard time. My sincere condolances on the loss of your precious mom.
Thank you so much, Mikael. ❤️
Love your willingness to open up – sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, Marie. ❤️
First, I wanted to offer my condolences on the passing of your mother. I wish your heart nothing but comfort. There is never a good time to lose a loved one, but this feels like one of the worst.
Second, I thank you for using your platform to speak up. While I love reading food blogs to get a break from reality, it feels odd when bloggers never address the bigger issues that are occurring in the world. I will be sticking around!
Thank you so much for your condolences. And yes – it’s such a tough balance, but sometimes silence can speak louder than words and it is definitely one of those times. Thank you again. ❤️
Kare! I so want to give you a hug. Losing your Mom… Heartbreaking.
Thaykind of loss leaves most folks completely debilitated and locked in a grief spiral. You’re very strong managing to see and move beyond that, Kare. Yes, I think your Mom would be proud of you.
FWIW, I like that you’re a holistic thinker: important issues don’t need to be marginalized outside of your email list. Food is life, and life is a BIG picture.
Thanks for sharing. ❤️
Thank you so much, Jennie. ❤️
I am very sorry about your loss and hope that your heart can mend soon.🌻🍀
With regard to the rest of your post, I understand that it does not have anything to do with politics, but with humanity instead. Thank you for that.
This pandemic should have been example enough that we are all equal and need to stay together to go through the everyday struggles.🌈
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing. Holding space for you.
Thank you for speaking out and continuing to do the work even (or especially) amidst your own overwhelming loss.
I’m so sorry about your mom! And you certainly won’t lose my readership! In fact I like you even more:).
Thank you so much <3
Thank you for your blog. My thoughts are with you and your family. I can relate. My mother passed on April 10th. She was 91 years old and passed away of natural causes. She lived with me as I was caring for her. I too was there for her as she passed. I held her and told her I loved her as she took her last breath. Continue your good work.
Thoughts and prayers,
Roy, thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so so tough losing our loved ones.
Excellent post – fully support you using your platform as a force for good. I’m really sorry about your mom. So much pain, all at once… it is hard. But I congratulate you on recognizing how important it is to speak up. I am positive she’s proud of you. Keep cooking and writing… thanks for the inspiration, on all fronts!
Thank you so much, Lea.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. xo xo
Thank you so much, Kathy. ❤️
I’m very sorry for your loss & the time you were cheated out of with your mom. My heart breaks that you were unable to be with her in moments you should have been present & happy you were allowed with her in the end.
I’m a nurse in the surgical recovery area & was redeployed to the ICU for several months of our state’s Covid surge. I’m still recovering from the emotional toll it took to witness people spending their last days (if lucky family could be there for their last hours or minutes) without family. I also watched young, healthy people dying or severely suffering of Covid. It sickens me to hear anyone call it a hoax after witnessing it firsthand.
Thank you for using your platform & privilege to speak out. The systemic racism in this country needs to first be acknowledged by all & then be remedied. Awareness & compassion are a great way to start.
I’ve followed your blog for years, as we’re a divided household (vegetarian & meat eater). If we’re being honest, I was happy to cop out with a night out to eat here & there. Since the pandemic has halted that, I’ve spent a lot more time in my kitchen, trying out new recipes. I made your baked potato soup last night & my family LOVED it. Tonight, I’m taking on the chili cornbread bake. We can’t control what’s going on in this turbulent world, but within my kitchen, I can create amazing meals to nourish my family. Thank you for your blog.
Hi Whitney! Gosh, you left this comment a long time ago, and I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to reply! With COVID and homeschooling the blog has taken the back burner for now.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. And thank you SO much for everything you have been doing through this pandemic. I can’t even begin to imagine what this must have been like – and continues to be like – for you. Just – THANK YOU, and so much love to you.